BOLD SURF WORLD PREDICTIONS FOR 2009
Andy vs. Kelly? Really?
JANUARY: The California state budget crisis worsens. Governor Schwarzenegger closes 14 state parks. Free parking and lack of enforcement help sprout small homeless encampments at campgrounds such as El Capitan, Leo Carrillo and Carlsbad. Vigilantes, fed up with the trash, drugs and generally unhealthy situation, destroy the encampments. One vigilante, a wealthy surfer, is arrested on murder charges is connection with the encampment raids. The national media goes crazy, and surfers are drawn into the national spotlight. The wettest January on record has California rivermouths swollen with sandbars, rattle snakes and bacteria. The US Commerce Department green lights the TCA's appeal of the California Coastal Commission's denial of the Trestles toll road.
FEBRUARY: A massive North Pacific swell hits California and Ghost Tree is swarmed by an unprecedented number of tow-in teams. Many consider it the last time Ghost Tree will be tow surfed - at least legally. Monterey locals jokingly rename the spot “Coast Fee,” an ode the predicted citations and fines to be handed out by the Coast Guard the next time the fabled spot is deemed surfable. President Obama holds a Pacific Rim economic summit in Hawaii. The secret service clears all surfers from Kewalo Basin as President Obama body surfs at Point Panic-- in a pair of Abercrombie & Fitch board shorts. The surf industry cringes.
MARCH: Andy Irons and Kelly Slater both take a hiatus from the 2009 ASP Tour. Andy cools his jets, invests in sports psychology and refuels the fire. He also surfs -a lot. Slater involves himself in board design, artistic outlets, and charitable causes. He also mixes in epic rounds at Pinehurst, Augusta and Soupbowls. The dynamic duo's break from tour sets the stage for THE most anticipated comebacks in competitive surfing history: Andy v. Kelly in 2010. Andy's new focus is a laser-like. Kelly is already focused. Jeremy Flores wins the Quiksilver Pro at Snapper.
APRIL:Lean, ideally diversified surf companies report surprisingly solid numbers and the specialty retail outlets report above average same store sales. Ma and pop surf shops benefit as margins on hardgoods increase and inventory investments in newer 'core' brands sell out.
MAY: The Indian Ocean produces a series of six epic swells. Four weeks of perfect surf rolls up from West Oz to Aceh to Sri Lanka. The Mentawais sees all-time conditions, with hardly anyone surfing, as the sluggish economy slows down surf travel. The lucky few score "lifetime" sessions. One aging mid-forties surfer, on his last day of vacation, drives out of his umpteenth barrel at Kandui, jumps into his waiting dingy, gives the boat driver his surfboard and quits surfing forever. His experience, he assumes, will never get better. How can it? A surf industry marketing bro consumes too much alcohol at SIMA's Surf Summit in Cabo.
JUNE: Teahupoo hits the 12' foot mark and an epic session goes down with all of the usual suspects. Added to the crew are Kelly Slater and Andy Irons, who, out of need rather than desire, become tow partners on this day. The next day is smaller, the swell of a more westerly direction, and sadly a b-level pro perishes.
JULY: SUP surfing continues to proliferate. The ease, the fun and, yes, the dominance factor into the non-stop growth of standup surfing. Not everyone is pleased and confrontations between prone surfers and standup surfers find their way into local headlines from Honolulu to Hossegor. Books, pamphlets, seminars, articles and YouTube videos regarding SUP etiquette appear everywhere. It does no good. Jeremy Flores wins the Billabong Pro at JBay. Occy and Luke Egan dominate the expression session - on SUPs.
AUGUST: A wealthy San Francisco financier, who fancies himself a surfer, flies Kelly Slater and Andy Irons out to a remote South Pacific reef pass for a man-on-man duel in perfect 6-to-8' foot surf. The winner of the hour long session will receive a one million dollar check. Unfortunately Slater injures himself 20-minutes into the heat and the unique concept is put on hold until another day. Afterwards, surprising everyone, both surfers announce their plans to petition the ASP for wildcards so they can compete on the ASP World Tour in 2010. Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble! ASP officials are tight lipped.
SEPTEMBER: British Airways completes its purchase of Qantas Airways. Surfboards are banned on all flights. In Australia, surfers picket at Sydney and Melbourne airports. The over-traveled and exhausted Australian National Cricket team, eyeing an opportunity to stay at home, join the protesting surfers in Melbourne. British Airways lifts the surfboard ban. Jeremy Flores wins the Quiksilver Pro France. The Aussie cricket team flies to India. They lose.
OCTOBER: Jeremy Flores wins the 2009 ASP World Title in Morocco after a ninth place finish in the Rip Curl Search event. Flores becomes the first European to own the title (Potter- was he a pommie in '89?). The ASP Mens world title is again decided without Hawaii's Banzai Pipeline being a factor. Third quarter economic indicators suggest a faster than expected economic recovery is taking place. Large surf hits Mavericks and the new rules governing PWC usage at Mavericks are put to the test.
NOVEMBER: WalMart signs on as the 2010 ASP World Tour title sponsor. In conjunction, the ASP announces a series of specialty events for 2010. They include a Masters event at P-Pass in the Caroline Islands, a SUP event at San Onofre and a mixed team event in Hawaii that pits Bruce Irons and Coco Ho squaring off against Andy Irons & Layne Beachley. Massive XXL surf hits Ireland.
DECEMBER: Capping off an exceptional Hawaiian season, Mikey Picon wins the Triple Crown of Surfing. A fellow European competitor, in an accidental semantic stumble, disrespects the Hawaiian sovereignty movement. He back peddles, but it is too late. He's told to leave the island. Andy Irons wins the Billabong Pipeline Masters. On New Years Eve day, in perfect 25-foot Waimea Bay, George Downing green lights "The Quiksilver In Memory of Eddie Aikau." The 'Eddie' is won by Jamie O'Brien.
Got a prediction?
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READER COMMENTS
Thu Dec18, 2008, 12:03 PM
I got a 6'3" board from Johnny Boy Gomes. It was close to those measurement. It was a product from BH surfboards. Minami shaped it. The hard edge was also pulled up to the halfway mark or more. The board worked in every thing for me. I surfed huge laniakeas on it. Easy triple overhead. The board worked great in all surf.
Thu Dec18, 2008, 8:20 AM
ammazing kelly!!!!
Thu Dec18, 2008, 10:25 AM
the future.
Thu Dec18, 2008, 5:02 AM
I da first to write something!!!!
Thu Dec18, 2008, 3:25 PM
I had a board with those exact measurments but with a swallow tail shaped 6 years ago. The shaper thought I was crazy. But that was possibly the best board I ever had.
Thu Dec18, 2008, 7:12 PM
kelly could surf a trashcan lid. he's not human
Thu Dec18, 2008, 7:28 PM
Ha! Guarantee noone has had a board like this in the past. The dims mean nothing.
Thu Dec18, 2008, 7:39 PM
Kelly would have won even riding on a door, he is so ahead from everybody else.
Thu Dec18, 2008, 10:06 PM
Has anyone forgot curren on the Peterson fireball fish? Old news already.
Fri Dec19, 2008, 2:10 AM
Al Merrick marketing, fools. Slater did no special maneuvers on that board, except get tubed. It's 75% surfer (Slater), 20% wave (Backdoors), 3% fins, 1.5% hairstyle, and 0.5% board. And all you folks call yourselves Surfers? Shave your head for free or pay $600+ for a frickin Merrick.
Sat Dec20, 2008, 1:59 PM
Bro Brah say "Merrick's are expensive and worth every penny! Ride one and you'll see"
Sun Dec21, 2008, 3:26 PM
Vince, Come on foolio. You have obviously never ridden a true Al shape. You can be a hater but reality is reality. The boards simply work better than most other shapes, regardless of the fact that they are expensive. And, yes, it is mostly Slater ability but the boards are the best, hands down. But if you havent ridden one made for you you wouldnt know.
Mon Dec22, 2008, 2:24 AM
wow. the kelly haters will never cease to amaze me. no offense to curren but the peterson fish he was riding during those golden search years was fun to watch ride but not that functional. slip slidin away. it hampered his surfing in the long run. contrarily, it is not marketing but r/d that has gone into kelly's boards all year. unlike 75 percent of the "pro" surfers out there, this dude actually understands and daydreams about how boards work and how to make them work better. not just for himself but for surfing in general. couple that with his freakish ability and it makes perfect sense he win the masters in 6 to 8 foot surf on a board that most of us would ride when the waves are two foot and doo doo. forward thinking is a beautiful thing. too bad most surfers are kooks that rather hate on progression than look at the big picture. say what you want but mark my words, kelly will do more for surfing in the next 20 years than he did in the first 20.
Tue Dec23, 2008, 4:30 PM
I'm pretty much a kook in this industry but the best in another...so I guess I am trying to validate my crossover opinion. I will say this, an athlete wants his equipment to feel good, be responsive and snappy to his liking. I agree Slater can ride a trash can lid (that's a quotable!) but I am sure he rather not. I'd imagine that he wants the best geometry to ensure that even when he is off his game, he is still winning.