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BLINDFOLD ANYONE? Stopping Slater From His 9th Is Impossible

by Chris Mauro
Global Editor
Pick your teams before it's too late!

The clincher. Could it be France? Yes. Yes it could.


Now would be a good time to try some scientific experiments on Kelly Slater, if for no other reason than to see just how strong the force actually is with this guy. Slater’s utter domination this year has, unfortunately, made this year’s title race a complete yawner. He can now officially clinch his 9th world title should he win the Quiksilver Pro in Hossegor, France, which begins tomorrow.

(WARNING: TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO UPDATE YOUR FANTASY SURFER TEAM FOR FRANCE! AND SPAIN BEGINS DAYS LATER.)

If he does indeed win next week only a few scenarios could actually delay the momentous feat.

  • Taj Burrow needs to finish 3rd place or better.
  • Mick Fanning or Bede Durbidge need to make the final against Kelly.
  • If Slater finishes any lower than 1st place in the Quiksilver Pro, he’ll have to wait for Mundaka, since Fanning and Burrow need only show up and finish 33rd or better to keep their mathematical chances alive.

    The fact that Slater can finish this thing off so early is a testament to his dominance this year. Once he does clinch, his only motivation to finish out the rest of the season is the possibility of turning his season into the most dominant one in ASP history.


        - advertisement -
     

    That’s one of the obscure but very prominent ASP records he held until last year, when Fanning went on his own incredible run and stole it from him. Stay tuned to find out what he needs to reclaim that one. In the meantime, we suggest a parachute leash, Vasoline wax, or some pepper spray to the eyes to slow him down.

  • Reader Comments 
    Posted Thu Sep18, 2008, 1:58 PM — By Dakoda Taylor AKA DROCK
    Sick he is a cool guy meet him 3 times now and he is a hero to many not only in Surfing........Checkout my dads in site www.digitalwunderland.com The Road to saving trestles coming soon.....
    Posted Thu Sep18, 2008, 5:04 PM — By stu
    who's he a hero to outside surfing?
    Posted Fri Sep26, 2008, 12:22 PM — By jacqueson rockson mcfly
    The Road to Trestles would look great paved, clean, full of bars, gas stations and hookers. But whoa, this crab bucket is about Slater. I never met a champ I didn't like. And this guy is the champ of all champs. Stu always makes a salty dish of things - so I'll answer. Tons of young phillies have his photo all over their notebooks -amazing - just like Leif Garrett. So he's a hero of the nation of young phillies. K Slater - teen idol and killing the boring Aussie crowd. Ah yes, the boring Aussies, more nationalistic than the narzis, and more predictably lame than Eddy the Eagle. At least Hoy was a full on booze cruise, tats of fun, and so many stories mmmmmmmaaaaaaaate. Vat the hey mick and parko and greaseball? Sack up aussie and shove off the tour - you're boring the crap outta me Ace brohamncheese

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