THE KIDDIELAND SHOOT-OUT: Nixon High Tide Hold 'Em Treads On with Jenna Jameson and Crew

Cheyne Magnusson expresses his winning ways.

It’s not always the size of the tube or the length of ride that makes a wave perfect. In fact, the perfect wave doesn’t even have to be perfect. “Every wave is perfect as long as you have the right board,” former Surfer editor Sam George once told me.

If this hypothesis ever required proof to substantiate it, yesterday’s showing out at Kiddieland was it. With the swell on the decline, and everybody surrendering to the tropical malaise, the tiny reform that builds a bit of steam on the inside of the Restaurant’s reef transformed from mushy roller, to what one might have misconstrued as the best wave in Fiji.

As the afternoon sun beat down and the tide filled in everybody on the island descended upon the break that more resembles a crumbly California close-out than the dreamy, reef-pass lineup that the South Pacific’s so renowned for. An armada of foam logs, kayaks, stand-up paddleboards, and inner tubes were the craft of choice. Forget progression, this “contest” was all about, in the words of Jan and Dean, “good vibrations”—after all, isn’t that what surfing should be about anyway?

The criteria for success was simple: whoever made the judges laugh the most got the score. Highlights included the tandem act of Downtown Casey Brown and rising skateboard star Lindsay Adams-Hawkins, who took off on a one-footer and trimmed into shore with Casey on his hands and knees and Lindsay riding on his back like a bucking bronco. Clair Bevilacqua and Jenna Jameson (yes, that Jenna Jameson) had their own tandem act—oh yeah, had I failed to mention that Jenna’s on the island with us? Well, she is, and she’s actually started to take to surfing. Ricky Whitlock went for the ever-classic headstand—although for some reason his trunks were no were to be found, resulting in an upside down full moon. Proving that women have men’s number, actress Joy Bryant convinced here boyfriend to paddle out donning nothing more than her bikini bottoms. But at the end of it all Cheyne Mags cracked everybody up the most, paddling out in spandex, a mask and snorkel, and some random, brown ‘80s thruster that god knows where he dug it up. He then proceeded to bust out his WQS arsenal with chop-hops galore and 50/50 grinds on the kayaks that were bobbing about in the impact zone.

The waves have been good almost the whole time we’ve been here, but at the end of the day the Kiddieland session might have been the most fun. After the comp was complete and Cheyne was crowned most ridiculous, everybody retired to the pool for happy hour, and oh, what a happy hour it was. God, you just gotta love surf trips. So what if it’s not some rugged, feral surfari, we’re having the time of our lives, and that’s what it’s all about. Cheers.

The tandem crew kills it at Kiddieland.