CURIOUS GABE
 

WHAT’S WORSE: TO BE A HOSER OR A POSER?
NEW YORK, NOVEMBER, 2006

ED “ZIPPY” ARIKIAN 52, Chemist

CELESTE WILLIAMS 19, Student

KEITH JOHNSON 48, Writer
“That’s a no-win situation. You’re screwed either way. But back 30 years ago I could get away with transitioning naturally from poser to hoser. Oh, those were the days.”
“I’d rather be a hoser than a poser. It’s so lame to pretend you’re somethin’ you’re not. It’s better to be happy with who you are.”
“Over the summer I saw a girl in a red bikini on a longboard going straight. By any definition she was a poser, but she looked better than 99% of the surfers I’ve seen; shredders, aerialists, whoever. So I’d say, depends on who’s posing.”

BOB HAWKINS 67, Shaper

DAVE THOMAS 57, Co-star of Strange Brew

RYAN MORRIS 23, Production Assistant
“I think a hoser would be worse. Being from another generation, hoser is an opportunist, in contrast a poser is one who masquerades as something he is not. In closing, I’m curious, Gabe, where the hell did you get this question?”
“The long answer is that it depends upon a number of contributing factors: race, religion, gender, political affiliations, place of birth, and whether you’re a cat person or a dog person. The short answer: Poser.”
“That’s a tough one because imitation is an essential part of learning. Everybody has to start off somewhere. But I don’t want to diss the Canadians. I love socialism‘cause I don’t have health insurance. Plus, I imitate‘em all the time, eh?”
     

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